After Tohei sensei died, I looked for a new sensei. I traveled to seminars. I went to USAF summer camp. I tried to figure out where to go. I could have gone to practice with Yamada sensei, but New York seemed too big. Chiba sensei – I didn’t think I was ready for or wanted that kind of austerity. I wasn’t ready to move to Japan. Somehow, things led me to Boston, and I began to study with Kanai sensei.
One of the things that drew me to New England Aikikai was that I wanted to learn iaido. Once, I saw Kanai sensei demonstrate a form (Eishin Ryu, Koteki Gyuakuto). It’s the most beautiful movement I’ve ever seen in my life. It was like seeing a shooting star. He cut in the back and then in the front – and it happened so fast. I saw it, and it was gone. I fell in love with that movement. I was drawn to the question: what does it take to achieve such a movement? I thought, “I want to be able to do something like that.” Here I was at a weapons seminar with all these high level people. The energy was amazing. Kanai sensei was part of that, plus he had this calmness about him. He was calm, but then there was lightning. I had lost Tohei sensei, I was still reeling from that. This flash of movement – of light – gave me direction.
For Tohei sensei and Kanai sensei, I felt I was both immigrant and student to them. I was in Chicago with Tohei sensei, but I was not from Chicago. I was in Cambridge with Kanai sensei, but I was not from Cambridge. This feeling was more pronounced with Kanai sensei because I had been practicing for a longer time when I became his student.
When I moved to Boston, I remember I went to his office to talk to him, and it didn’t go well. I think I was feeling mixed about joining his dojo. I felt like I was betraying Tohei sensei by coming to study with Kanai sensei. So I didn’t ask to be his student. Instead I just said “How do I sign up?” His face showed his disappointment. His expression said, “Why are you wasting my time with that question? You sign up like you sign up anywhere.”
Kanais sensei was very astute. He could tell my struggle. I was having a hard time adjusting to the transition from being Tohei’s student to being Kanai’s student. And he told me, “A teacher can’t choose their student.” That’s always stayed with me. It would be up to me to choose him as my sensei.
Kanai sensei was kind, but he had a serious look that could stop you in your tracks. His aikido was powerful and supple. When Kanai sensei threw me, I felt the power and the softness. Many people are able to imitate his power, but it’s harder to master the suppleness. That’s the challenge of aikido.
I learned from Kanai sensei that “soft power” comes from being in control. Controlling your posture, knowing where the movement comes from, reading your partner’s ability – your partner’s body. Giving your partner direction and support and release at the right time. It’s about timing and placement.
Suppleness helps your body and your partner’s body survive. As uke, you’re being guided. The movement is not harsh or jarring. Nage is in full control. Aware.
It’s hard to do though.
Kanai sensei’s style was different from Tohei sensei’s. I was adept enough to make the switch, but I still wasn’t fully in the new style. The turnaround came when he promoted me to fourth dan. I said, “Are you promoting me because of my longevity? Or because you think I’m overdue? Or because you see me as your fourth dan.” He answered, “Well, you’ve put in your time.”
I said, “Then I don’t want it.” I was concerned he was promoting me due to my longevity and not due to me being fourth dan level according to his standard.
He said, “No, take it. Accept it.”
And from there, it became more of a nurturing relationship. It was more of a conversation between us. He gave me a compliment, which I still remember. He said, “I like the way you think about aikido.” He asked me what my principles of aikido were, and I said I didn’t know. And he told me to think about it.